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Afraid to sleep

I’m…afraid to sleep

afraid to meet tomorrow and meet people again

for this 7 weeks, there were no times I can sleep peacefully

I’m waking up for every 15 minutes

then fall asleep and forgot everything

and wake up after 15 minutes again

it’s ridiculous that I just realize this now

among the last 7 weeks and the last week left

this life taken toll of me too much

shall I keep in this pathway?

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hi, how are you?

that title might be the most appropriate words to say


ever since november last year, I’ve been indulged and drown in my own life, despair, happiness, all things mixed into one. And if you ever known me before, I’m really not into the stable state, I just dont care how the capital letter will display, and I don’t think about it.


My fan account no.3 and 4 is delayed as you’ve known, just because the real life taken my time about too much, but we should accept it do we? *sigh*

The problem is, I can’t write, my fan account no 3 contains despair and tiring, you may sense that I’m bit mad at that one. While my no.4…hmmm… I lost them along with my phone 1 month ago, all the drafts..the detail. Am I sad? Yes, I am, but none other make me sadder that two of my friends was forced to drop out the program that I’m belong now. Heck for all the system, I’m questioning humanity in this program now. How can we behold of humanity when the managerial is just less about it?


and just today, I’m mistakenly almost took a life, my close friend…coincidentally of course, but there are responsibilities for all things, for all suggestion you make. so.. to be say, I’m really in desperate condition. Not to mention my round wil come in less than 2 weeks, I’m afraid what this program will makes me later.


so, dear friend, I beg you, please keep talkin to me, even though I don’t answer, because you all arevthe one that kep my sanity now. …

*end of ranting*








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Hey, I miss that smile.

When Naivety is all we have, when happiness is just as simple as holiday.

Hey, I miss that time

when we were young and free, and all of the world is only we and we

Hey. I love that time

when we were stupid (and still will be?) and learn things so eagerly

overly confidence because we didn’t know which should we chose

stubborn for our words, standing in our own feet

Hey, I want that time back


But my dear, life was never easy to begin weren’t they?

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[Fan Account] Tonight with Lee Seung Gi in Indonesia – part ii (Press Conference)


After separated our way and finally gathered back, gulped some spoonfuls of laksa and a bit touch up, we (me, Ella, April, Mich, Ulil and Dije) ready our self to face Seung Gi in the fansign. Bad for me, I left my ‘war equipment’ in the base camp, say hi to oily face =___= at last Ella handed me wet tissue, and Mich lend me her lip gloss, well at least I’m not a frying pan ready to fry eggs :p

Reached the area, it turn out the fan signing was delayed until next day, but fan signing pass holder (by other mean us) were allowed to enter the press conference zone, well, standing it isthe queue is a very long looongg queue! Worst… our group was the last one to queue!*bite handkerchief* But somehow, I’m glad we’re the last one, It’s a rendezvous, I met a lot, talk a lot. Do you think we’d stood still while queuing? Dare to say so! We’re mingling here and there, greet airen from all over the country, from other country, complaining a little bit, chitchat a lot ;), all in high sprit!.

While mingling, I left the queue (who cares by the way? I am the last one :p) until suddenly I heard excited scream, turning my head over, I ran back to the queue, asked others“Has he came? Has he? Where? Where is he now??” And the scream was heard all over again, it was deafening, jinjja!! I saw airen turn their head over the left side, and a few airen ran desperately to the lift over there. So yes, he came! We jumping excitedly like little girl ~, but, but where is he? Why didn’t we saw any glimpse of him? Ah, Mr. Munial hid him in the backstage tent, those two special indoor tents, for our king. Ah Sir, you don’t understand any fangirling things, don’t you? As expected, for each time any movement was seem from the tents, there were uproar among airen xb

Do you see the two cones? mr. Munial hid Seung gi there^^
Plus the super comfy sofa~

Waiting, queuing, and waiting, finally we’re allowed to enter the zone. Continue reading


[Fan Account] Tonight with Lee Seung Gi in Indonesia – part i (airport)

First, for whom who read my fan account, I’d like to apologize for the lack of Photo (or in exact word: none), I have no time to hold camera, thus I left it everyday and had no time to take it back T___T, I’d update the post sometimes with pic from internet, to give a better description of what happened that day.

For now, this is my fan account….


Seung Gi’s flight is via Garuda Indonesia #821, which would landed 13.50 on schedule. The weather was cloudy and a bit raining. Ever since 11 o’clock, airen from all over the country had gathered in Terminal 2E, some come from outside Java and still no news whether he’d step out from regular gate or through VIP one. Ah stress~

We’re waiting anxiously around 2E gate, met Airen whom we met in Singapore FM before, and some other names whom we just know in Internet world (and snapped some photos for sure LOL). Then we spotted Mr. Munial, walked in to gate 2E, it’s just like a confirmation that Seung Gi would walked out through this gate. We approached him, that was my first time conversed with Mr. Munial, and oh my, he is so so friendly! Somehow I can imagine Seung Gi walking in Jakarta crowd accompanied by Mr. Munial ^^. So, the Big Boss questioned us (Oh, and btw, I’m with From Airen Indonesia’s Admin by the way), about preparation, hinting about the change of  LED in MTA to “Welcome to Jakarta, Lee Seung Gi” at the moment he stepped out from airport –exciting isn’t it? I know^^- He asked us to build a barricade after the bodyguards and to coordinate with them. He also asked us about what happened in Malaysia, and to be honest, none of  us knew it well since we’re busy with our project,  After all Mr. Munial said “Lee Seung Gi him self seem very nice, despite any condition he still gave his best” and THAT sentence just makes me proud all over again toward our King.

cr: @margaretha_ip

To shorten time, we relocated and arranged Airen outside the gate. Time was ticking, and the bodyguards appeared, wohoooo, they are so big that their upper arms as big as my calves -note: I’m a fat girl, so can you imagine how big the bodyguards are? The bodyguards formed two barricades, one for each side. Continue reading